I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
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She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Enjoy the penises
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