he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
