Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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