Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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