even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
