Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
