Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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