Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
