She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
