does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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