I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
