I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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