bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Its about making memories worth repressing
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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