How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
