the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Randomize
