Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
