I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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