he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
