so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
