Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
