White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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