is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
