U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
