but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i dont even know how to be here
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
