Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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