he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
