So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
