My entire life is one complicated drinking game
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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