Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
