my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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