He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How does one acquire holy water?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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