Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
