I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
