my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
