She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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