my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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