I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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