My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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