note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
