I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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