if only i could text you this smell
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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