I wanna bring you to show and tell
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Boobs are out for the taking
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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