fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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