I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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