Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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