loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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