She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
