We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I need moral support for this bender
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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