So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
