dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
