i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize