i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
