So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
