Taylor Swift is so right about you.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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