My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
