She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
