can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
