This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
