my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
