sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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