Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Barsexuality is the new black.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
