one two three fourrrrnication!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
