school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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