barbara walters just said penis...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
