do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
