when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
