i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
