took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
