..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
