all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
